The good news is that you can learn strategies to keep a relationship strong - even in the face of problems or challenges
Almost all of us who have been in love can identify with Jaros' question. Just why is it so hard to heal those wounds when you are supposed to be on the same team? After more than 15 years of practice I have come to believe it is because all of us have an unconcious desire to be "completed" by our partner. When we fall in love we think "at last I have found someone who understands and completes me!" However, somewhere along the way we realize that the person we entrusted our soul to is not perfect and in fact can be very hurtful.
Over time unresolved hurts can grow like a cancer. Resentments build up, expectations are dashed and love seems to be diminished. How could something that seemed so wonderful end up being so painful and destructive?
"Why is it easier to forgive your enemies than to forgive a loved one? "
- Ned Jaros
Since 1991 I have been helping couples find new ways to heal old wounds and to rediscover why they fell in love. While in session, I use an approach that focuses on enhancing communication between the two of you so that you can heal the old wounds while at the same time providing you with innovative skills to help prevent more harm.
Talking about the problems in session is only half the solution. Oftentimes couples are so focused on the problems that they have forgotten how to enjoy one another's company. With this in mind, I will oftentimes provide assignments between sessions designed to help you have fun together again and to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have or to schedule an appointment.
10 Signs That Your Relationship May Benefit From Professional Assistance
1) Communication seems like it is going in circles
2) He/She seems unwilling to compromise
3) Our personalities seem incompatible
4) His/Her family gets in the way
5) Fighting is cruel
6) Fighting never seems to reach resolution
7) Your fights become physical
8) You rarely or never have sex
9) You can't agree on how to raise or discipline your children
10) You have discussed or fantasized about divorce
Listen to an in-depth interview with Dr. James on MentorCoach
discussing his approach to couples counseling
